Chapter 1, A New Beijing Love Story

My husband, Zhao Xiaodong. Douzi. I have mentioned him to you before.

As Zhao Xiaodong arrived, he saw us speaking in a manner reminiscent of an underground party meeting, shrouded in mystery, and thus asked: "Who are we gossiping about this time?"

I feel a sense of joy and satisfaction in my heart, as the twelve-year long romance is finally about to bear fruit

After a three-year separation, my college roommate Tang Xiaoning called me. Back in college, nicknames became popular; her surname is Tang and mine is Dou, so everyone called us "Sugar Beans." Upon hearing her voice, I felt as if I had returned to the simple days of being a student—late-night talks, taking attendance in class, passing notes during meetings, skipping class to go shopping, reserving seats in the library... There were so many memories. Hearing her voice brought me back to those uncomplicated student days—late-night talks, taking attendance in class, passing notes during meetings, skipping class to go shopping, reserving seats in the library... There were just too many memories.

My little treasure must have picked up a penny on the road again and solemnly handed it over to the police officer. In the end, the officer praised you and called on the entire community to learn from you

It is time to get married. Do you know Zhao Ling from our class? She married a foreigner! That foreigner is incredibly handsome, and I heard he is a legal advisor for a publicly listed company. She is now living in the United States with her husband and has already obtained a green card. As for Sun Jie, her husband treats her like a queen, immediately attending to her every command. It is truly enviable

I can't wait for the wedding photos, when will you Marry me?

Isn't it true that women prefer to have money to spend?

After reading it, I was completely stunned. The email said not to wait for him any longer and to find a good person to marry instead

In the past, I only knew that you loved me more, but I never realized that I loved you so much, to the point that I couldn't believe it myself, to the point that without you I felt lost and helpless, to the point that my tears formed a river

He is striving in New York while I wait for him in Beijing, and the rear has always been stable. After five years of a long-distance relationship, I have become accustomed to having such an invisible lover, communicating through phone calls, text messages, and emails filled with sweet words. Even a wooden person can have humorous and emotional moments. Every time it is my birthday, Christmas, or the Spring Festival, Zhu Yesheng from my family orders a bouquet of roses online to be delivered to my office. Although I always mutter "it's a waste of money" when I receive the flowers, I still feel overjoyed inside. Even a wooden person can have humorous and emotional moments. Every time it is my birthday, Christmas, or the Spring Festival, Zhu Yesheng from my family orders a bouquet of roses online to be delivered to my office. Although I always mutter "it's a waste of money" when I receive the flowers, I still feel overjoyed inside

I recall the scene of our phone conversation a few days ago

Pop!

Tossing and turning, I still cannot fall asleep. I get up, turn on the light, and take out a piece of stationery, feverishly pouring out a belly full of words, etching them through the paper. Tears soak the stationery, and once dried, it bears the creases of my sorrow. If Zhu Ye Sheng were to see it, he would surely know that I have cried again, speechless and choked with emotion.

"What a beautiful thought!" Xiao Ning said with a hint of annoyance, her playful demeanor radiating happiness

In the days without work, I searched for traces of Zhu Yesheng every day, almost becoming obsessed, wishing I could fly over and eliminate him, asking him what was wrong with me that he could drag me along in silence for twelve years, only to conclude with a phrase like "find a good person to marry"

After a long separation, the most talked-about topics among everyone were how they had been doing over the years, how their husbands were, how their children were, whether they had boys or girls. I felt completely like an outsider, only managing to interject during the final reminiscing about university life.

Our Old Zhu is the only Asian in their research institute, and as long as he stays there for five years, he can obtain American citizenship with the - picture - book. He said that once he is settled, he will bring me over. Listening to the happy lives of others, I couldn't tell what was off, and I began to weave my own happiness.

I, who am carefree and untroubled, found it difficult to sleep on the night he said we should break up. My eyes were fixed on the ceiling, and in the pitch-black room, I could see nothing. I did not know what I was trying to see; my mind was incessantly replaying thoughts, like a film being screened, replayed, and replayed again. Then, tears flowed down like beads from a broken string, so many, so many, rolling down, large and small beads filling the jade plate. I did not know what I was trying to see; my mind was incessantly replaying thoughts, like a film being screened, replayed, and replayed again. Then, tears flowed down like beads from a broken string, so many, so many, rolling down, large and small beads filling the jade plate

My dear, you are truly astonishing; marrying you is indeed a manifestation of our ancestors' blessings for the old Zhu family

A mouth opens, speaking in a stiff Mandarin, with a face full of shyness

I keep calling his name in my heart, and even silently reciting it brings me pain; everything feels unreal, as if I am dreaming

"Isn't it still gossiping if it's about women?" Xiao Ning said with a hint of playful reproach.

I had anticipated that her arrival would deeply provoke me, yet the profound friendship that had endured for three years compelled me to take the risk of being provoked by putting myself in danger.

I did not think much further and felt happy for Xiao Ningzi as I looked at her joyful expression

Brother-in-law, a remarkable talent indeed

Listening to Xiaoning's happy life, I feel even more that my own life is tragic

Has he found a foreign girl and no longer likes an ordinary domestic undergraduate like me, a plain girl, an old woman who has waited for him for so long

I always thought that I would wait for him to return, get married, have children, and live a happy life

Old Zhu from your family is honest and has always treated you well. However, you need to hurry; if you don't have children soon, it will become difficult.

By the time you read this letter, I may have already departed from this world

As soon as Xiaoning arrived, she began to gather a few classmates in Beijing for a gathering. I hesitated and tried to decline, but in the end, I was still forcibly dragged over by Xiaoning

Upon arriving at the registration office, we were guided by a senior student to pay the tuition fees. It was only when she inquired that I realized we were from the same city. It was this feeling of encountering a familiar person in a foreign place that brought us together, evolving from fellow townsfolk to friends, and then to romantic partners, a natural progression that unfolded effortlessly.

My eyes are fixed on the email, tears dripping onto the keyboard. My beloved keyboard, which I used to carefully wipe clean with a drop of oil, now receives my tears falling without restraint, and I remain indifferent.

My love has not diminished in the slightest despite not seeing each other for many years! At 32 years old, I am still as heartbroken as a little girl experiencing her first love loss

"Ugh, you just make me feel nauseous. Darling, I bought a red wedding dress, the one that Zhou Xun wore in 'The Orange Is Red.' Haven't you always said it looks great? I even went to the photo studio to take a set of wedding photos without the groom, and I've already sent them over. You can Photoshop yourself in, and that will be our wedding photo. " I secretly felt thrilled by my own cleverness. In a long-distance relationship, we can still have wedding photos; with today's technology, as long as there is Photoshop, makeup is just a trivial matter. You can Photoshop yourself in, and that will be our wedding photo. " I secretly felt thrilled by my own cleverness. In a long-distance relationship, we can still have wedding photos; with today's technology, as long as there is Photoshop, makeup is just a trivial matter.

Without you, I have come to realize that the meaning of living is merely memories, and those memories only make me miss you more. The longing for you drives me to the brink of despair, as if I must end my own life to sever the thoughts of you.

I thought that after being apart for five years, I had grown accustomed to life without him. I could be at ease after a few days of not seeing him, and I could get by for weeks with just a text message to check in; ... I thought I would not be as inseparable from him as I was when we first fell in love; I thought that just like after every argument, I could ignore him for months; I thought I could ...

Always love you as one, little bean

You are the ones who make me envious

In the past, we vied to be the elder sister, but now we compete to be the younger sister; truly, time flows and the years are relentless

Zhu Ye is still in New York, and will be back soon. As soon as he returns, we will get married. To my best friend, I do not even have the courage to speak the truth.

"My lady, ah, you will not get hurt. I really want to sing a love song, to see the most beautiful fireworks..." The phone rang, and this ringtone was originally prepared for a wedding, but now it sounds particularly ironic

"Just call me brother then," said Zhao Xiaodong

I thought it was a joke, desperately calling his phone, sending emails, sending text messages... But he had already severed all contact. Just as it was written in the email, do not attempt to contact him; he did not have the courage to say such harsh words to my face. He hates that he has delayed me for so long, making me forget him

Zhao Xiaodong? When Xiaoning got married, her husband’s surname was Dong, and the photos in the class group are not of the Zhao Xiaodong in front of me. I began to wonder, could it be that during this time of heartbreak, my memory has also deteriorated?

However, the phone was turned off and remained off until the following evening. I had a feeling something was wrong, so I checked my email and found that the email sent by Zhu Ye two days ago had not yet been read.

"Stop talking nonsense, come pick me up at the West Station. I'll introduce you to my partner," she said sweetly

The last kiss that transcended space and sea, crossing thousands of mountains, is still fresh in my memory. How could it change so quickly

Have you seen Zhao Ling's son's photo? It's in the group album, fair-skinned, with blonde hair, and I must say, he really is good-looking. You are the only one left in our class, so hurry up.

Brother Zhu

She corrected my words: "It is my ex-husband. We are divorced."

Are you still waiting for Lao Zhu? You two are truly in love, from university until now, how many years has it been? I envy you!

Hmm. I merely nodded and did not dare to look closely at what he looked like, only remembering that his voice was very pleasant

He intends to completely sever ties with me

I am increasingly afraid of being alone and daydreaming; once I start daydreaming, it is easy to recall memories, and when I recall memories, it is easy to go mad. When I go mad, I make phone calls, send text messages, and write emails. The air express sent to the United States has a text message receipt, yet I received a text message stating that the letter was returned— the letter, which had not been opened at all, was sent back to me intact.

So, I endure, I endure, I endure! However, life often does not follow anyone's designed trajectory

Those past events that I had long ceased to care about suddenly surged forth like water released from a dam, flowing tumultuously and unstoppable

In order to uphold the dignity that has long since faded away, I deliberately applied an extra layer of powder to my face, tidied up my eyebrows that had not been groomed for a long time, and found a trench coat from my wardrobe that I impulsively purchased at Xidan Shopping Center years ago.

It is often said that men think with their lower bodies, a notion I have always refused to believe. Everyone scolds me for being foolish, for wasting my youth on a man, deeming it unworthy. Yet, I naively believed that where there is love, there is a future, never considering that once love is lost, all future is lost.

It seems that he is quite nice to you

I am suffering from insomnia

In the summer of 2000, I had just arrived in Beijing from a small county. I was particularly excited to be in Beijing; even the passengers getting off the various trains seemed different. The expressions on their faces, the clothes they wore, and the bags they carried all exuded the aura of an international metropolis. Of course, there were also migrant workers with bedding rolled over their shoulders, as well as students like me, wide-eyed and filled with curiosity about Beijing. However, what I saw more of was the unfamiliar sky and the crowds of people I had never encountered before. Certainly, there were also migrant workers with bedding rolled over their shoulders, and students like me, wide-eyed and curious about Beijing, but what I saw more of was the unfamiliar sky and the crowds of people I had never encountered before.

Without you, when I cross the street, who will lift me up to prevent me from being struck by speeding vehicles? If a car approaches, who will pull me back to ensure my safety at all times

Love, it is only when you lose it that you realize it is like a fish out of water, struggling to breathe for a moment, until it approaches suffocation

"Do you think the human brain is a computer? Idiot Zhu Yesheng, come back to me!" I can only curse at the computer.

One kind of sorrow overshadows another kind of heartache, and even the most cherished things become worthless.

Divorced, those who have been in long-term relationships that ended, and those who have failed at blind dates... Later, they all showcased their own happiness. I am still wandering in the shadow of heartbreak, afraid to tell my parents, afraid to tell anyone.

At that time, both of us had a rustic appearance.

During the day, I was undermined at the company. I originally planned to make an overseas call to Zhu Yesheng in the evening to express my grievances. As long as he could say, as he used to, "Wife, just give the order, and I will send elite troops from America to annihilate him completely," I would be able to cheerfully digest everything.

Today, in this world of martial arts, I have decided to withdraw

"Are you here to report as well?" he asked me

Bean, I will arrive at Beijing West Station in one hour, please come to pick me up!

He must be feeling disdainful

The love of that time was so pure, consisting of only two hearts, untainted by distance, untainted by fame and fortune, and untainted by other hearts

I have long been accustomed to having someone who cares for me, how can I pretend that it is just a game or a dream?

Find a good person to marry! What a heartless statement this is, the result I have exchanged for twelve years of youth. Ignoring everyone's objections, I foolishly and wholeheartedly waited for a love that resembles a fiction. I can only find traces of him in text messages on my phone and in emails on the internet; otherwise, someone would surely think I am mentally unstable, having fabricated such a lover, sending myself greeting messages at regular intervals and flowers periodically. I can only find traces of him in text messages on my phone and in emails on the internet; otherwise, someone would surely think I am mentally unstable, having fabricated such a lover, sending myself greeting messages at regular intervals and flowers periodically

However, I reviewed the records and found that I made 365 phone calls, sent 100 text messages, sent dozens of emails, and ultimately shed a basin of tears and drank a can of beer

More than twenty thousand words in total; I have never written so much even when I was at my most diligent. After finishing it, I neatly stacked the pages, placed them in an envelope, wrote down the address that Zhu Yesheng had given me before, and planned to send it as soon as dawn broke

I went alone to the university I once attended and saw young couples happily holding hands, which made me truly feel that time flies like an arrow, piercing through the heart

While Zhao Xiaodong was in the restroom, I asked Tang Xiaoning, "Isn't your husband surnamed Dong?"

Did I make a mistake? I have developed the most severe self-doubt I have ever experienced.

Xiao Ningzi, where have you been all these years? You changed your phone number without saying a word, making me leave messages for you on the school intranet every time.

Upon arriving at the West Station, as soon as I saw Xiao Ningzi coming out of the exit, I excitedly waved and called out "Xiao Ningzi, Xiao Ningzi". The two of us embraced each other.

I remember that every time he returned home during the winter and summer vacations, he would carry the heaviest luggage while only letting me carry the small backpack filled with snacks. I watched as sweat dripped from his forehead and his hands bore red marks from the straps. I felt a pang of heartache and wanted to take it from him, but he said, "A girlfriend should be cherished."

This night is too long, long enough for me to clearly review every day and every word of our twelve years together. I am not giving up, and I dialed his phone again—still no response. QQ, MSN, emails, sent out like snowflakes, the computer is unresponsive as if it has crashed. Yes, my love has crashed, and a restart is not an option.

Xiao Ningzi speaks concisely

I am a good daughter-in-law who is frugal and manages the household well, dear, give your husband a kiss

Suddenly, I feel that marriage is truly wonderful; being married brings happiness

Reality is so cruel; when you desperately try to remember, you no longer possess it. When you wish to start anew, the opportunity has already slipped away. No one cherishes me as life itself anymore, no one lifts the heavy luggage for me, and no one shares a bowl of soup with me.

When I found the school bus, it was already filled with students coming from all directions, all with youthful faces and at a vibrant age. The only available seat was next to Zhu Yesheng, so I sat down.

A few years ago, I gave birth to a daughter, and Old Dong had a son with another woman. In a fit of anger, I got a divorce. Later, I met Old Zhao, who did not mind that I had a daughter and treated me very well. During those years, I hardly kept in touch with you, right? I was in the midst of a divorce! Women must find the right man; this is the experience of someone who has been through it. What about you? Women must find the right man; this is the experience of someone who has been through it. What about you?

I always want to prove that I am doing well, but I forget that what looks good is not about what I wear

Who says otherwise

Love in university is standing in line every day to get a pot of soup for two to share, it is sharing two buns and a bowl of porridge every morning, it is studying together in the same study room, ... it is holding hands at the flea market to see which piece of someone else's worn clothing is cheap enough to buy, and he uses the saved living expenses to buy it for me

The director Lao Mao, who was parachuted in from the company, has made my good days few and far between since his arrival. There are always endless mistakes to rectify and an unending mess to clean up. Ever since my request for a salary increase was tactfully declined by my superior, my authority has gradually been undermined. Today, I was told to go home and rest for a while under the pretext of preparing for my wedding.

Without you at night, I can no longer sleep soundly without a care in the world. With my eyes wide open, my mind is filled with thoughts of you, thinking of you, thinking of you, still thinking of you

Zhu Yesheng, Zhu Yesheng, Zhu Yesheng

I truly want to smash the phone against him, breaking the sliding cover into two flat pieces and shattering the color screen into nothingness... At the very least, give me an answer; you cannot simply say that you have taken a liking to another girl. A statement that has wasted many years of my life, and a mere "I'm sorry" would allow me to discard over a decade of waiting into the recycling bin.

Beijing, a city where countless individuals are willing to break their heads just to catch a glimpse, a place where many gamble everything in search of their dreams. In the subway, there are not only beggars but also artistic youths strumming worn-out guitars and singing "Nothing to My Name." Beijing is a place where it is difficult to even squeeze into the subway, yet many people make a living in basements; on the streets of Beijing, there are hurried, simply dressed white-collar workers, as well as migrant workers huddled in confusion, laying down newspapers to rest; Beijing is both heaven and hell, both a world of rivers and lakes and a place of practice. Beijing is merely an outer garment; we believe that by putting it on, we can find our dreams, yet how many still lie buried beneath this garment.

Husband, can you guess what earth-shattering thing I did today

Brother-in-law! "Xiao Ningzi reminded me.

I truly envy you

A person falls into utter defeat, all because of excessive trust

"You are so beautiful, did I promise to marry you?"

Husband, save on the phone bill; we could buy two pieces of wedding candy instead

I am a person with a strong sense of pride, always putting on a facade of being fine in front of others. However, once I return home, I can only write and write, pouring out the emotions accumulated over more than a decade. Some say that Pan Yue remarked, "Even mourning requires words," suggesting that longing should be quiet. Those who have never experienced separation cannot understand that you have a heart full of words with no one to share them with, only wishing to find an outlet for your feelings. For poets like Pan Yue and for someone like me who plays with words, writing is the only outlet for emotions. Those who have never experienced separation cannot understand that you have a heart full of words with no one to share them with, only wishing to find an outlet for your feelings. For poets like Pan Yue and for someone like me who plays with words, writing is the only outlet for emotions.

At noon, I hosted a welcome dinner for them at Quanjude—previously, I couldn't afford it, but now it doesn't smell as fragrant as it used to. It's hard to imagine how delicious the buns were back then when they cost 0.5 yuan; now, even the buns that cost 5 yuan lack flavor.

That day, I drank a lot of alcohol, as drinking meant I didn't have to say much. However, I forgot that when drunk, one tends to talk more, and in the end, I said everything I could say, and even things I shouldn't have said, with tears and snot flowing.

Ye Sheng, I still remember you said you would come back. Marry me, I have been waiting, and it does not matter how long it takes. I know you will definitely return. I will wait until you achieve success, until you grow tired of being there, until you finally come back, wearing that red dress we saw together online, and marry you

You cannot deceive me! As long as you come back, even if it is just to let me see you for a moment, to say another word to you, I promise I will never act out again, I will never call you "Pig Intestine" again, I will never make you carry luggage again, I will never force you to eat food you cannot finish, ... I will never use stinky durian to stink your socks again, never ...! ... I promise you everything!